This is the talk given as part of the church discussion series on topics that have been worrying people (a quick note about the title: Ask yourself, offensive to whom?).
This is a story of offense. It's about whether all religions are equal, about how the claims of Christianity offend our sensibility, and how gravity does not compromise! It's also a story of taking responsibility ahead of that one small step into eternity. First, let me begin with the assumption that, if you're seriously reading this, then you agree that we are more than mere atoms, more than the molecules, cells and physical existence - we have a soul. That old topic which comes before, “does God exist”, is very interesting and important, but it's not for here. Now we want to explore the questions of:
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We said farewell today (see here). "Farewell" - its an odd word. A contraction of "fare thee well" which seems a strange wish for a funeral, for someone already gone, or at least it does in this case. In this case it is completely redundant - I know he's well! It's those of us left behind that need to be wished "Fare thee well".
Well over a thousand people attended, including Desmond Tutu (although he left before the end), along with media and TV crews. It was incongruous at times - powerful, but it caught me unawares. As a friend, it left me feeling on the periphery, saying goodbye from a distance amidst the crowded mix of many strangers, some oddly familiar faces, acquaintances, and friends. But that's selfish of me - God was glorified, worshiped, thanks were given. The moments I felt closest to the purpose of our gathering was in glorious worship as his present death stood stark against the backdrop of God's unending grace. What should a funeral be? It is of course something for those left behind, and first and foremost should be according to the wishes of those closest as they respect the person they (we) have lost. In that way surely a funeral should match the character of the person whose loss we mourn. For us today that meant choir, band, organ, a plain pine coffin with rope handles, funny stories, acclamations ... a complex big picture frame that communicated a scene reflecting who he was, a big man with a big heart. And my funeral? No formality please. Laugh and cry as you like, with good music and singing, lots of pictures ... I love visuals. And not too long a service (you won't be boring me, but I really don't want you to be bored). Above all, know Joy rather than mere happiness. Take time to forgive me and each other, so you can be a better person. Know that you too will take that small step into eternity. The small things of this instant that seem so important will one day pale into insignificance when we step off this arrow of time. I love the concept of the Irish pub wake (well, let's leave out the pub and drunkenness, oh, and the body - we don't need that - but keep the rest!). Don't put me on a pedestal. If I've done something good, you can mention that. But remember, just like each of you, no-one knows the depths of our own imperfections better than ourselves. Rejoice for me ... I'm better off! Don't be angry (but you can be envious). After the service you can all eat German Apple Tart (Ouma's recipe) and Custard (my favorites), jelly beans (also a favorite) and listen to the chorus of the Moody Blues "Nice to be here" over and over again - I hope it makes you laugh. Play some quirky music, like Melanie Penn's "Ordinary day" (I really, really love metaphor - see if you can identify this one), or Katie Herzig's "Wish you well". Throw in something with a good bass guitar, and a generous mix of contemporary and unpretentious Christian music. Let the normality of living shine through, normal spirituality as it's meant to be - simply and plainly woven throughout the fabric of life. Death in this world is normal -- even when tragic. So most of all I'd love everyone to leave my funeral with the yearning for heaven that I will now have realized. That yearning that I've always lived with, because nothing is more important: a desire to go home and be with God. |
Why?
Probably the best therapy is to express yourself. Why do you think psychiatrists make you lie on the couch and talk, while all they do is murmur "hmmm", "uhuh", or "go on"? Archives
May 2017
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