Exceptionally, seriously, uber-smart people know where Joy is not found.
That's so "seriously cool", and some other uses of "serious" about YOLO. It's as if our language is inadequate and so we add the word "serious" for intensity to imply to others that it'll be their loss if they ignore it. Such as "The club was seriously crowded", or "That’s a seriously funny joke" (and if you don't laugh there's something wrong with you). Or in a heat wave we might say it was "seriously hot" because it was so hot it had consequences. While "seriously cool" implies a different double dose of intensity - not only "serious", but also "cool" as in having gravitas, focused, or insightful - something you really "need" to pay attention to. It's as if all the normal adjectives and adverbs have become inadequate so we need to add a new level of emphasis. Or perhaps we simply want to break through the unthinking'ness of people to get their attention. Yet we forget; either everything is serious, or nothing is. YOLO: You Only Live Once. The next hour is unique, never to be repeated, so that's a serious matter. If I'm going to use the time to laugh, or run, or eat, or love, it seems appropriate I should be serious about it. But "seriously laughing" is not about having hysterics, it means embracing my laughter wholeheartedly, taking it for everything laughter is, and nothing that laughter is not. Serious frivolity is not a contradiction in terms - and I should really know how to be appropriately frivolous (for awhile, after which it's merely being seriously excessive!). Serious grieving - I should grieve with appropriate intensity (beyond which I'm merely having a pity party). Yet YOLO is also very vulnerable to our human stupidity, our propensity to mix up magnitude and importance as if they were the same thing. We might see a massive wedding cake, and say "that's a serious cake", or be racing on a highway and say we're going "seriously fast". True enough; but that's seriousness of excess - and that illogically implies that more equates to importance - that the bigger the quantity the more "serious" it is. But take instead "she was a serious musician". This is a different type of "serious" - its an accolade for a persons commitment, and a recognition that the person finds fulfilment in their serious commitment to something we deem of value! It does not mean they were sombre, boring, or dull people - in fact the opposite is usually true. People about whom we say "there goes a serious ____" are usually people who are stimulating, interesting, and inspiring (as well as making us feel a little inadequate by contrast). Let me tell you a story, one so common that most middle class kids experience it. I'm a little embarrassed to say that when I was a child my parents did occasionally use the argument “think of the starving millions in India” in an effort to get me to finish my food. Unfortunately I was a kid who tended to try and rationalize things. So their argument usually got a response such as “I don't want any more, I've had more than enough to sustain me, and I know there's no ways these leftovers are going to magically make their way to India, so why not just chuck the rest”. My parents never gave a coherent answer that I can remember. Now days, of course, I know that they were trying to instil an attitude; "don't waste” - to which I should have responded "Don't cook so much." But in that experience lies a germ of wisdom: If YOLO, and if I want to "seriously live" (rather than live seriously) it begins in attitude. The end outcome (the things people talk about in your obituary) for most people's lives is rooted in attitude. So if I'm to be a "serious Christian", and because Christ is about Joy, then I should be serious about Joy (not happiness, that's something else) - and in fact people should look at me and say "there's someone who is seriously joyful (presuming they know how to distinguish "joy" from it's poorer cousin "happiness"). We like to quip about the the pessimist with his half-empty glass bemoaning what he doesn't have. Or the optimist with their half-full glass who is thankful for what they do have and thinks a top-up is coming. But neither are being properly serious about life; rather they are being seriously irrational about only one side of the coin. It is not about whether the glass is half-full or half-empty, its about committing to "what is", and the important thing about "what is" is that it has nothing to do with where I am now or how full the glass is, and everything about which direction I'm facing and whether I'm draining or filling the glass. That "serious musician" is as admirable when they were still learning their scales as they are when they (might) become a concert pianist. The only difference is how far they've travelled in the direction they're facing - all the time they've deserved the accolade "there goes a serious musician". Of course this is nothing to do with achievement. Focussing on achievement is seriously misleading. Focusing on being ... that's facing in the direction of serious Joy. There was an interesting article in the Washington Post about smart people having fewer friends - which has an unfortunate (but thankfully false) corollary that if you have few friends you must be smart. Among all the interesting possible interpretations of this study is this: perhaps "smart" does not mean "intelligent", but "smart" means someone who has learned the value of being serious about life, and that life is not seriousness. The smart people are the ones who find that investment is a smart thing about living, because we are a finite being in an infinite experience. Of course the really, really smart people are the one's who also think about the value and truth of what they invest in. And the really, very, exceptionally seriously uber-smart people know where Joy is not found. PS: what is the opposite of "serious"? It is "Trivial": that attitude that treats things and events and people as of little importance. YOLO anyone? PPS: Just seen this article, which has the interesting line "The three keys to success ... are attendance, attitude, and the ability to learn ..." [My bold]
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Why?
Probably the best therapy is to express yourself. Why do you think psychiatrists make you lie on the couch and talk, while all they do is murmur "hmmm", "uhuh", or "go on"? Archives
May 2017
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