Much like everyone, when I get stressed my patience wears thin. That's an explanation, not an excuse. Of course, polite behavior slips first with the those that one knows best - whereas with strangers one usually makes the extra effort to keep the polite facade in place. Sad but true.
The bit that stretches my patience most is when, if something has gone wrong, the immediate and first reaction by others is to dissect the history of the event. "Why did you do that", "Didn't you think", "I never did anything", "They did that" - they try pick apart the past most often to see where the blame lay, and to divert blame from themselves. This approach to problems drives me up the wall. Of course there is a time and place to examine the actions of self and others, but in the heat of the moment forget the dissection because all you end up with is a dismembered corpse. The most pressing need to to make a course correction, focus on what action is needed, move on. I see a parallel with my faith. I remember when it first dawned on me what it really meant that, as a Christian, God says he will remember "no more" all that I did wrong - as if the mirror to the past was blank, while the view to the future is all-encompassing. Its a life-long-learning of this lesson when dealings with others - to forgive, forget, move on - life-long because its hard, because it is so satisfying to see blame placed elsewhere. But I keep trying, and I hope others will try likewise to apply that lesson in their dealings with me.
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Why?
Probably the best therapy is to express yourself. Why do you think psychiatrists make you lie on the couch and talk, while all they do is murmur "hmmm", "uhuh", or "go on"? Archives
May 2017
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