Q: How do I stop being a Christian? A: (The cynic says) Die: no labels there, wherever "there" is. I've been reading of many who say "I'm no longer a Christian". I wondered what circumstances drove them to that decision. I know that for myself on (very rare) occasions the temptation has arisen. How does one stop being a Christian? People definitely do drift away; some to blandness, some into the arms of different religions, some to atheism, and often to a life where it simply becomes too much effort to actively remove the label while continuing to live as if God does not. I thought I would try to work out how to stop being a Christian. First, I think the options all depend on which of three possible types of Christian you are. 1. Are you a Christian by identification? This is the easiest category and probably applies to most people living in developed nations; you've had the label stuck onto you by family and/or friends and/or culture, but you never actively chose it for yourself. If you're this type of Christian all you have to do is peel the label away and then deal with that irritating residual glue. For some this can be tricky, and if it proves to be so then I advise a judicious application of drink or drugs, recreational sex, hedonism, and a dash of ambition flavoured by moral relativism; that will surely remove all evidence that the label was ever there. 2. Are you a Christian with a God-object? This is a bit more tricky, and probably covers a big category of religious people. Such a Christian usually began as a category 1 Christian - growing up with the label - someone who has chosen to "give it a go" because it seems to serve a purpose in their lives. God (whoever that really is) is often seen as something - a nebulous "object" - that can be appealed to in order to resolve problems, prayed to for relief of suffering, called upon to supply your needs (self-perceived or even very real needs), and who provides a comforting reference in a world of ambiguity. This sort of Christian is willing to (mostly) do the necessary behavioural tasks to achieve this. The analogy is that of a citizen living by the culture of their nation, and appealing to the governing authorities for their rights; one might be seeking a court injunction in the case of a perceived injustice, or claiming one's access to social services, pension, or national health, or simply pleading for help because you're a "citizen" (and good luck with that - the success rate of this approach is so low its no wonder you're considering how to ditch your label). If you're dissatisfied with your Christian label because you seem to be getting nothing for it, then you have a number of options. You can declare yourself atheist (or agnostic .... although I'm not sure true agnosticism exists) and learn to live with the fact that ultimately you've only got yourself to depend on when things are tough. Loneliness, stress, and a plethora of other issues will be solely up to you to deal with. If you don't like that idea, your best option is adopt a citizenship elsewhere. Pick another religion, any one will do because its going to be about as effective as the version of Christianity you're trying to discard. Alternatively, you could decide to become an anarchist ... quite a few people choose "new atheism" and become an activist for the overthrow of Christian authority. Or you could decide to be especially subversive and keep the Christian label, but instead define your own brand of theology as so many people are doing now days. This has the advantage that you get to keep the bits of Christianity that you like without all those awkward pieces that make you uncomfortable. And you still get to be known as a "spiritual" person -- even perhaps being seen as especially wise because you've had "insight" to go beyond the boundaries of the bible. In reality it won't make much actual difference to the results you're seeking from God, but it might lessen your guilt feelings for awhile and will probably boost your peer rating among some people. Who knows, one day you may even go on to found a new denomination. 3. Are you a Christian by experience? This is the really tough one, because "by experience" means you've known the love and intimacy of God, known Jesus as a brother and his presence in your life. These sort of Christians are those who have acquired their label by deliberate choice, and then experienced a clear change in their life (sometimes dramatically so). Even if now that vitality seems to have dimmed, you can't deny the experience. So, taking off this Christian label is like choosing divorce when the relationship seems to have cooled (or perhaps you've committed adultery that's caused a rift you're not particularly keen to admit, or heal). In this case, taking off the label of Christian will require some degree of acrimony and aggression on your part, because it won't be initiated from the other side. When you're in a family your father is your father because that is what he is, not because you chose him to be. Even if you deny him, he's still your father. Similarly, in a marriage your spouse is your spouse, and even if you deny it this does not change the fact. You can change circumstances so you have an estranged father, or an estranged ex-spouse, but they will forever have been your father or your spouse. Your denial of them does not change this fact. Thus, to stop being a Christian (type 3) is not simply a case of pretending that God does not exist; you've known he does. In this case your best solution is to become an activist for an opposing cause ... I guess atheism is probably the logical choice. For when you know from experience that something is real, your only long term option is to join the opposition. Denial can work temporarily, even for many years. You could try and live as a type 2 Christian and pretend that God was only ever a delusion. But you can never completely remove the story of your experience; that will be with you till the day you die (when it will be especially real to you). The experience will niggle and itch, it will disturb you in those quiet moments of extreme alone'ness, and you'll want to rub that spot every time it recurs. Remember that God will not want to let you go; God is a very reluctant divorcee and will fight the divorce every step of the way and then take you back at a moments notice - but he's God, and will only do so on his terms. What am I? I'm a type 3 Christian, and proud of my label. I'm not in it for what I can get (although I get a lot), I'm wearing the label because reason and experience tells me that in the same way as it would be stupid not to respect gravity, so I believe I would be a fool to ignore God. I can't put a label on God to define him as I would like (that's illogical, because then he couldn't be a God) - but I do understand that God defines me. In all the years of my life, no other label has ever made sense (and I've explored many), and no other label has ultimately satisfied my real needs. At the end of the day, we all inevitably wear some label.
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May 2017
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