(… who works all things for good ... Rom 8:28)
I'm enjoying myself. Their were four of us who started the hike together, but the other three charged off ahead, driven by either their irrepressibly energy or by my momentary obnoxious non-compliance of a few minutes ago. But now I'm enjoying myself; by moving at a place-appropriate pace I can be immersed in the startling surroundings, take the occasional photograph, stop and make a moment-memory. All this, and with a pleasing conversation in my own head; I'm really enjoying my own company. I'm thinking about how I am the product of all the good and bad that's gone before. I could be complaining about the trials of the past, the injustices, or have regrets over decisions I might change had I but known then what I know now. Or I could be wasting the present by fixating on an idealized future. But the regrets and pleasures of the past, the hopes and fears of the future, these make me what I am now. And I like what I am, I'm (mostly) good company for myself. As I walked it struck me that to enjoy others, I first need to enjoy myself. If I can't enjoy myself, how could I properly enjoy others? For if I seek the company of others as an escape from myself, if they are merely tools used for my own purposes, then I will be forever disappointed by them. For like me, everyone else is the product of imperfect living. Only when I learn to enjoy myself – to accept and be thankful for what I am now, shaped by all that has passed – only then can I then truly enjoy the company of others, and not use them as a means to avoid myself. Loneliness is sometimes self-enforced; when I don't like me I don't even have even myself for pleasant company, let alone do I know how to enjoy the company of all the imperfect people around me. Melanie Penn (again) When the sun goes in when the sun goes out When the moon rises and the ocean is high it seem like we're going to down And if I don't feel then the way that I do now If there's a shadow of doubt ... I swear I won't give in if ever questions begin No I won't flee if I'm faced by a moment of uncertainty Oh., I will remember then what I'm telling you now if there's a shadow of doubt. And Human nature is a fickle thing full of weary self-invention And I'm fully grown I know my soul is prone to wandering So if ever I should lose my way maybe then I'll know what love is If the feelings fade I promise I will stay and live it out So if a midnight comes if a fire grows cold And if a heart that once held a spark becomes harder than stone Oh I will stand by you I'll see the season through beyond a shadow of doubt
2 Comments
r4space
2/1/2015 01:44:46 pm
Not sure that I follow the argument that only when I can enjoy myself can I truly enjoy others, I don't see the dependency...?
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A valid point, and I would agree that there is great value in adopting this within the context of real world progress. I would not object to such a motivation.
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Probably the best therapy is to express yourself. Why do you think psychiatrists make you lie on the couch and talk, while all they do is murmur "hmmm", "uhuh", or "go on"? Archives
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